Gratitude Isn't Found in Results

Hello, Joy in the Journey readers! My name is Megan and I happen to be Katie’s younger sister and one of Emily’s closest pals. I am excited to share a new perspective as a guest blogger this week. If you know my sister Katie, I should let you know that we are opposites. Even though I would rather be public speaking instead of long-distance running, we do share a common passion for the agricultural industry. You can usually find me listening to 90’s country, drinking iced coffee or sweet tea, and sharing my love for the FFA. 

Anyone who knows me well knows that I am an extrovert. I thrive off of making connections with others and I can easily adapt to new situations just by talking to the people around me. When I become passionate or excited about something, I quickly tend to set my mind and heart on achieving it. If anyone reading is familiar with the enneagram, you may be reading this thinking, “yep, she’s a three”. If you thought that, you are correct! 

For anyone who isn’t familiar with the enneagram, it is a system used to figure out your personality type and to help understand the tendencies of those around you. There are nine types, and each type is represented by a number 1-9. Once you think you are a certain number, there is a ton of research you can do on your strengths, weaknesses, and tendencies. I recently got interested in the enneagram and reading about each of the nine types. Once you figure out what number you are, do some research! The results are eye-opening. 

Like I said earlier, I am a three. Three’s are generally ambitious, energetic, charismatic and adaptable. Each type has a nickname, and three’s are nicknamed “The Achiever”. With every personality also comes negative qualities. For three’s, they fear to be unworthy or unloved and tend to seek acceptance through success. 

Once I researched my type, it made so much more sense to me why I am the way I am. For example, I often seek approval, or in my case, contentment, through accomplishments. If I’m not doing something or being something, it can lead to me feeling worthless and unworthy. While it’s great to have the drive to be successful and accomplish big goals, we often find out that no matter how hard we try, it is inevitable that at some point we will fail and not accomplish exactly what we want to. 

In the past, I have worked hard at being content with my current situation, regardless of what is going on. This meant when I was accomplishing nothing, I tried to force myself to be happy because deep down I knew true happiness is not based on circumstances. It wasn’t until I read a quote by the one and only, Rachel Hollis in her book “Girl, Stop Apologizing”, that changed my mind on this topic. 

 “There’s a big difference between gratitude for your life and blind acceptance of whatever comes your way.”

It finally made sense. 

This quote hit the nail on the head. I truly was working towards “blind acceptance of whatever comes my way” instead of practicing gratitude for my life. 

Here is the difference: Blind acceptance of whatever comes my way meant that I would stop trying to live in my “type three potential”. I wouldn’t need to strive for success or accomplish what I set out to do because I was trying to just be content. Content with whatever happened, whenever it happened. I don’t think I’m going to do so well on a test? Oh well. No use studying. I thought I needed to learn to be content with whatever grade I get because that’s just the way it is going to be and I’m probably going to be more disappointed if I study and get a bad grade anyway. 

I see practicing gratitude as happening after you put in the work. After you study for the test and give it your all. After you apply for a job you’ve been working towards all through college. Also being grateful for the process of setting and striving for goals. Enjoying the path, not just the destination.

See the difference?

The difference is being happy with the results and the process. For the longest time, I tried to force myself to be content with only the results. 

Now, practicing gratitude for my life looks more like feeling happy with how I worked for something, and the opportunity to pursue my goals. Whether you identify as a three on the enneagram or not, I believe we can all relate to trying to reach the goals we set for ourselves.