Things I Wish I Would Have Known About College Before College

I am wrapping up my junior year of college today. (Crazy, I know!) It seems like just yesterday I was driving up to Maple Hall with my little lanyard around my neck, excited at the things that would lie ahead at Iowa State University. As I list my books for sale, pack up my things for the summer, and start looking ahead with a career mindset, I can’t help but reflect on some of the things that have gotten me to this point. Maybe you are a high school senior this year (congratulations!) and aren’t sure what to think of the months ahead if college is your next chapter. Or, maybe you’re the parent of someone who’s about to head off to their next journey and are left wondering how times have changed at college since “the good ole days.” If so, this post is for you! As an ode to my time at a postsecondary institution, I present you with some of the things I wish I would have known about college before college:

Being a freshman is only awkward if you make it that way, which I feel like is something that’s pretty important that I just want to get out there right away. I think everyone sets you up for mental failure right out of the gates of college by telling you that, as a freshman, you will miss out on opportunities and be looked down upon by your professors and peers simply because of your age. BIGGEST. LIE. EVER. I had some of the best opportunities and upperclassmen friends my first year of college. The whole freshman thing is only a big deal if you make it one. I mean, sure, I can spot a freshman a mile away by searching for those who have their dorm keys on a lanyard around their neck, but in my experience you will not be short-changed because of it. I was actually never excluded due to my class status my freshman year (we love an inclusive campus). I will say, however, that telling everyone you’re a “sophomore by credit” or being unable to function on your own after the first 2 weeks of classes will not help your cause.

I hate to break it to you, but high school means nothing at this point. Got a 4.0 all 4 years? Cool. Involved in LITERALLY everything your school district offered for extracurriculars? Good job. So was EVERY OTHER FREAKIN PERSON HERE- for the most part. Typically, the people who are at college are the same people who did everything they could in high school to make themselves look better to get into college. By saving X number of puppies or donating an entire grocery store’s worth of food, or even winning MVP at every single varsity basketball game you are not uniquely special at your postsecondary institution. If you were wondering from my last point if there are any freshman I can’t stand, I will tell you that these little munchkins that are still living in high school and wearing their letter jacket around campus? THOSE ARE THE ONES.

You will never be the coolest person on campus, but you will also never be the lamest. This is something that I was not prepared for after coming from a small school district with a graduating class of 40 (well, 34 if you don’t count the 3 foreign exchange students, the 2 who graduated early, and the one who didn’t actually graduate). In my school it was pretty clear who had been dubbed the “coolest”, especially in middle school when we had a group of 5 girls self-proclaim themself and the “Fabulous Five”. (Yes, this actually happened.) But here is where college is really awesome: coolness, popularness, or whatever you want to call it- is relative. You may not be the coolest person on your entire campus (I’ll let you in on a secret: no one is), but each person is definitely favored within your own circle. Maybe this is just a small high school grad thing, but this ability to find friends who are specifically made for you is unparalleled, and I was definitely not prepared for this many friendships; which brings me to my next point…

No matter how hard you try, you can’t plan friendships. Those people you hang out with every second of every day during the first week of classes from your dorm floor? Yeah, those people are nice but you probably won’t even talk to them by midterms. The very first day you get to college you have this picture of what you want your year to look like, and I know you have visualized the kinds of people you know will become your best buds. I want to be the first to tell you that everything you think you know about the types of people you want as friends gets thrown out the window in the first few weeks. Befriending a past National FFA Officer because I like to talk during class and she needed old soil science tests I had? Not planned. Dragging a guy from my ag conservation class to a *really lame* awards banquet and ending up becoming racing pals? Also, not planned. Going from 0 to 100 on the friendship scale with a girl I used to hate (which I admitted to her, #akward) after we had two classes in a row together? Yeah, you definitely can’t plan that. Starting a blog with a distant acquaintance from a high school political conference 4 years ago… need I say more? The bottom line is you only know someone is not your friend until something happens that makes that very clear- so until then, keep your people close!

Now that’s not to say that everyone has to be your BFF… for example, your first roommate might not be your best friend. When I came to ISU I connected to the Facebook group for our class and got to work to find a roommate. I wanted to find someone I didn’t know and someone that no one else would know either, because I truly wanted a fresh start (and, if things went south I didn’t want to ruin an existing friendship). And in my head (because, contrary to my last point, it is pretty hard to avoid premeditated friendships), this person would become my “bestie for the restie” and be in my wedding, so I was very careful to pick someone I thought I would mesh well with. I ended up finding a gal from Ohio who had also picked an ag major, was super involved in FFA, and planned to really focus on academics. Perfect. We messaged a little bit on Facebook, decided this could work, and filled out the paperwork to room together in Maple 415. In August, move in went just fine and we spent a lot of time those first few days together. But, as classes started and we each become involved in our own activities we just didn’t seem to see or talk to each other as much. At first I was really sad, as I thought I had done something to upset her, but then I realized we just weren’t as similar as I thought. For example, she liked to get up early and I prefered to stay up late to work on things. She like to study on campus, but I was more of a fan of using the study room down the hall to prep for tests. She liked staying in Ames for the weekend (I mean, she was from Ohio so it’s not like she could… go home..) but I liked going home or seeing friends in other towns. So it wasn’t that we hated each other, we just didn’t grow as close as I planned (again, you can’t plan friendships). As the year ended I saw her less and less and we haven’t really stayed in touch since. She was, however, very kind and respectful, and not to mention tidy, so she really was the ideal first roommate. And Jolynn, if you are reading this, thanks for an awesome freshman year (and for helping me artfully call in the girls down the hall when they were too loud).

I think the biggest thing I was worried prior to college was my perception that college professors were awful and mean and evil. That is SO far from the truth! Most professors are actually pretty cool and want to see you succeed. Actually, I’ve had so many awesome professors in my time at ISU that I don’t even know which one to highlight or which story to tell. I’m not saying there aren’t any duds (I can also name a handful of those), I’m just here to tell you that most professors are on your side. I have past professors that are Facebook friends, LinkedIn connections, on a first name basis, and probably even some that I will make a point to stay in touch with after graduation. If you think they’re a good person, they probably are. (Not to mention the insane amount of extra credit college instructors give.)

When it comes to college, not everything is perfect but it’s pretty darn close. Sure, there are some of the highest highs and lowest lows, but you will find that it all evens out for a dream of an experience. There are times where it is weird or crazy or downright miserable, but college is so awesome there is SO much to smile about. Whether it’s the academics and achievements, or simply the memories you make with friends, college is just one big, beautiful mess. And if you aren’t there yet, hand on to your hat, girl, you’re in for a treat.