To the ones who can’t find joy in Christmas, this one's for you.
This year, or any year.
The ones who don’t feel the magic and can’t jingle the bells.
I can’t say I’m one of those people today. I love the Christmas season with all my heart (I’m sure you know this). But I would be lying if I told you there weren’t holiday seasons where it was hard to get out of bed and celebrate the birth of our savior or trim to tree. In fact there’s been a few: The year my grandpa was dying, the year a pair of young boys in our community passed away in a car accident, and the year someone very close to me was diagnosed with cancer and it seemed that the disease became the 5th member of our family.
I have been there.
To me, Christmas is a reminder of the blessings I have in my life. For others, Christmastime can bring an entirely different set of reminders that life could be so much better. Maybe it’s the source of additional stress and anxiety in a life that’s already stressful. Or, perhaps it’s simply a cruel, cruel season that solidifies your feelings of loneliness and isolation. All of these thoughts and feelings are heightened with the constant that it is supposed to be ‘The Most Wonderful Time of the Year.’
It’s a tricky scenario: On the one hand, you feel like you should be ho-ho-ho-ing your way through the season like an elf. On the other, you just want to curl into a ball beneath the covers and stay there until the new year. Close friends might try to cheer you up with ice skating trips and Christmas light tours but only bring you down further in the process, reminding you that you don’t love the season and that’s wrong. It leaves you wondering “What is wrong with me?”
Absolutely nothing.
If no one has yet, I want to be the first to tell you that it’s okay to not love Christmas. You don’t have to be buying the best gifts or singing carols the loudest. In fact, you don’t have to do anything at all. It doesn’t make you a bad person. This season, I am giving you permission to just be in the way you want.
This one is for the girl out there trying to run everything. I see you working overtime to buy the biggest and best gifts for the ones you love. Staying up late to wrap the presents and waking up early to bake the rolls so they’re fresh and hot for the family. Scheduling your holiday calendar down to the wire to make an appearance at all family functions. It’s exhausting, and I’m sure it’s not working. In the process of trying to make everything perfect, you transform a season of merry and bright into another burden on your shoulders. Take a breath, erase a few things from the list, and strive for contentment rather than perfection.
This one is for the guy out there who has lost someone close to them this holiday season. “How can people be so happy right now? Don’t they know the grief I’m carrying?” It’s hard watching every family you know gather together with one another and be happy while you sit in the solitude of your own thoughts and mourn. People call you Grinch and tease that you’ll steal Christmas with your heart two-sizes-too-small heart, but not one of your friends has bothered to ask you how you are doing because they are so preoccupied with their own holiday happenings. You and I both know the truth is that your heart is huge but broken, and all you want to do is mute out all the Season’s Greetings and just stay in bed. That’s okay- you can spend some time with yourself, no tinsel or leg lamps required.
This one is for those who are navigating the holiday season without a hand to hold. You’re a hopeless romantic but a solitary Christmas is a bitter perpetuation of your own assumption that no one could ever love you. Your aunts make jokes about how ‘all your boyfriends must have been too busy to come to the family Christmas’ and you know deep down they’re only kidding, but it stings like salt in a deep wound. You can’t help but wonder if it would be a little merrier and brighter with some right by your side. Stop listening to Last Christmas- it’s okay to be lonely.
There’s a plethora of other cases and scenarios, these are just scraping the surface. The bottom line is this season might not mean the same thing to you as it does to everyone else and that is perfectly fine. I want you to know that you are not alone. Maybe it’s stress over the perfection or finances of Christmas, or maybe it’s seasonal depression. Check in with yourself over the holidays. How are you feeling? What has made you sad, anxious, or upset lately? What is stealing my joy this season?
So, if you’re like me and do love Christmas, what is your takeaway from this blog? Be patient, be kind, and be mindful. You love the cookies and music and lights- so do I. Not everyone does. While there’s nothing that brings me more joy than a Hallmark-white-Christmas, be mindful of the feelings and situations of others. That isn’t to say you should love the season any less, because I’ll be damned if I don’t listen to Christmas music every day. All I’m saying is to think twice before giving someone a hard time for complaining about Christmas.
The Christmas season is to celebrate the birth of our Savior. Even if you don’t bring a gift to his birthday party does Jesus still love you?
To the ones who can’t find joy in Christmas, this one's for you.
